John of God Sexual Abuse - The Betrayal of a Spiritual Father I

My name is Kathleen and I have been a tour guide for John of God for the past five years.  I have traveled to the land of  Abadiânia for the past five years with groups of people seeking some kind of spiritual truth in search of finding a deeper connection to God.  I know guides that have been taking people to see John of God for over twenty years.  John of God was a spiritual father to me and I learned many things from my journeys there.  The breaking news of John of God's sexual abuse has caused heartache and pain in so many ways to so many people.  I wonder did he ever consider the multitude of people that would suffer from his choices.  The answer must be no. 

 HOW I GOT TO JOHN OF GOD

I have always been able to hear the voice of God since I was a child.  Since the news of the sexual abuse as it relates to John of God, I have been in close communication with my mother about the grief and sadness I have been feeling.  In a text my mother reminded me that even as a child I had a gift. "how well I remember you saying to me she said God told me ... and I asked you how can that be? You said Mom I just see things sometimes and God tells me things.  This was years ago before you ever went to Brazil"  I shared that to say, one day I was sitting at my desk working and God said to me "Kathleen, you have to get a crystal bed".  I said a crystal bed?  I had no idea what that was or how to get one.  It took me three months to figure out it was an instrument which came from a place in Brazil.  I contacted the people in Brazil about this crystal bed and I had to get permission to own one and I was "approved" as they say to own one.  They were very expensive back then.  So I worked for 10 months seven days a week to save up for the trip and buy the crystal bed.  I found a guide that was going to Brazil at the time I wanted to go and my first trip to Brazil was December 2013.   Being in the legal field, my boss did some research on John of God and found these articles that he was being accused of sexual abuse by women on more that one occasion and she wanted me to be aware.  God never said to me: go find John of God or any Casa, it was specific to crystal bed.  Since that time, I have traveled the coast of California in service to over 2000 people with the crystal bed.  I never looked at John of God for more than a vessel that was used to help people.  I never believed he had any power or was anything other than a man. The healing that took place on that land is undeniable and good.  The man, on the other hand abused his power and people were hurt.  That same man also used those same gifts to heal many.  The dichotomy is incomprehensible to me.

UNUSUAL VISIT TO JOHN OF GODS OFFICE BY TWO YOUNG WOMEN

My last trip to Brazil to see John of God with my group of people was in September 2018.  Something deep within me knew it was my last trip.  I was not ready to see what I did see on that day in September 2018.  It was after the morning session in the current room.  My group had returned to the Pousada where we were staying and I stayed behind to gather my thoughts and feel the sunshine.  I was sitting on the wall outside in the area where the King Solomon triangle is located and directly across from one of John of God's office.  I saw two very young girls dressed in daisy duke type shorts with high heals on.  They were walking on the lawn outside of the wall where I was sitting. I said to myself "that's odd" as they were not dressed in the white clothing and their clothing appeared very sparse.  I saw them knock on the door of John of God's office.  They walked into the office and one of them said in English "I brought you somebody new".  I thought that was odd as I was always believed John of God did not speak any English at all.  After about 15 or 20 minutes I heard a loud screaming coming from John of God as I am very familiar with his voice and the sound of it.   It was the sound of someone having an orgasm and he was screaming at the top of his lungs.  Directly thereafter within five minutes, I saw the women leave his office.  After the women left, I saw someone bring a tray of food to his office.  I am certain I could not have been the only one that heard that loud scream from John of God.   Feeling devastated and confused, I did not know what to do or what to think.  I always heard people joking about his taste for "young pretty women", but I could not believe what I had seen.  I knew it was wrong, as well as I knew he would be sitting in the afternoon sessions for the people.  It was common knowledge that John of God was married to Ana and had a baby daughter, so I felt much sadness in my heart.  The volume of his screams had to be heard, yet no one did anything, except bring him his lunch.  I have held this within my own being and shared it only with one dear friend. I can only image what the women feel like holding the secret of being sexually abused/or coerced.  When I read Gail Thackray's blog which stated there is no such thing as a "private room" and "private bathroom", or "private sessions" that is not true.  John of God does have a private office on those grounds and there are always women lined up to go in there after sessions.  I have seen this many many times.  On my trip in May of 2017, I met a young beautiful Brazilian woman standing in line after a very long morning session.  On that day there were 2000 new people that came to the casa to see John of God.  The rooms for meditations were full and we sat in those rooms from 7:00 a.m. until 4:30 pm while the first time line went through to see John of God.  This was a beautiful woman.  Young, perfect shape and stunning.  She came to my pousada and she told me that John of God told her "she needed to come to his office for a check up"  So she went to his office.  She on the other hand, never spoke to me about any inappropriateness.  So when people say "there is not such thing as a private session with John of God, this is not true.  He does and has asked women to come to his office which is a private room for special clearing and "checkups." I like to call this "no such thing" "oh he didn't do it" my elephant under the rug syndrome.  Here we see a big elephant hiding under the rug, yet everyone is saying I don't see it.  

 As a woman who has been sexually abused as a child, I know the feeling of  being trapped and afraid to be seen or to speak of the awful things that I had to experience under a man, who was a relative and face my family with the fact that I had been sexually abused.  While John of God, may not have been a relative to these women, as my experience was, in many ways he was, as they trusted him, they believed he could help them.  I looked to him as a spiritual father who betrayed me in a way that I cannot yet comprehend.  The ironic thing is that when you experience a violation of your being on this level of sexual abuse, people don't want to believe you, or in my case "they wanted to protect my uncle's pension" and I was told I was a child and I would forget it in time". (Link)↠  My Story of Abuse.   Or in the case of John of God, "the good outweighs the bad."  No one is speaking up for the women.  I had to find a way out of despair, embarrassment, no self worth, no confidence, fear and victim-hood after being sexually abused, that is why I call my story of abuse, My Journey Home to Me. It was a long an arduous one.  Spiritual growth and development showed me a way to once again expect good things in my life. I had to do a lot of inner work, professional counseling and find spiritual ways of dealing with my pain and the robbery of my childhood. These women are courageous to come forth against man that is a powerful figure in Brazil.  There are still many that will hate these women for speaking their truth, as they will feel they should have "remained silenced."  I stand with those women and know first hand what they will have to suffer for speaking up.  May peace be with them all.  May they know that their lives may be deepened and strengthened by the intensity of every choice they will make from this point. 

A VOICE FOR THE VOICELESS -

Why are People not taking A stand for the Women?

While everyone is abhorred by the press and John of God's acts, the women who were abused are numbers that went from 12 to 500?  They are not numbers, they are fractured souls, broken hearts that have been abused and misused.  I don't understand why people are not standing up for the women.  I don't understand why no one is saying they ever saw moral inappropriateness at the John of God's Center.   My last thoughts are about the land of Abadiânia, the crystal beds, the wooden triangles, the crystals, and the experiences that we have all had by visiting the Casa in Abadiânia Brazil.  

First, the land in Abadiânia is sacred.  It is a spiritual vortex created long before John of God.  It was intended to be a refuge for people to replenish and find solutions to the questions of their lives.  It was never intended to belong to John of God.  John of God was to be an instrument through which spiritual beings used to help people who were suffering.  This was done so many times.  People were healed.  Somewhere along the line John of God got lost and began to rule this land and began to feel he could do whatever he chose to do on it.  Somewhere along the line it became about John of God and his self entitlement to women and anything else he wanted while everyone looked the other way.  The sacredness of land can not be changed.  It remains in tact.  Things had to be placed back to Divine Order.   So darkness was exposed and now we see John of God was just an ordinary man, had no power and is in prison to face the choices he has made.

The crystal light bed developed by him was not John of God's Crystal Light Bed, it was the crystal bed of the Creator, developed through a man to bring light and hope to others world wide.  A divine light vehicle to bring hope and restoration to the weary.  That will never change no matter no what the man did.  I have serviced over 2,500 people on my crystal bed.  I have seen so many tears, I have seen so many restored, I have seen so many get up with answers.  The channeled message I give to them after their sessions, they don't come through me from John of God, they come from the Creator, the Divine Light Source, the still small voice, my portal.  Nothing can change the energy of the Crystal Bed, the power of the restorative energy.  The crystal beds belong to God.  I stand strong in the face of adversity, claiming my own power, my own faith in the One power over all of us. These women need crystal light bed healing.  We need to be there for them.  They need to know they are not alone. This is a chance to meet adversity as a test of our ability to inaugurate a new reality born of the Creator.  Each moment bringing us an opportunity to live as a spiritual being of integrity.  The Creator will meet us in the hour, the moment and instant of all of our needs....the women first and foremost, the crystal bed practitioners, the people who have walked the sacred land of Abadiânia, the people who were healed, people who were not, the guides, the daughters of the casa, the sons of the casa.  This is our time, to recreate the way in service to God.  Nothing can diminish the force which flows through the crystal light beds.  It is a healing tool for the world.

The crystals from Abadiânia are sacred.  They are sacred not because of a man John of God, they are sacred because they carry the energy of the Entities of Light, the energy from the spiritual vortex and they come from the earth.  They will energize us, remind us of the beauty of the Creator.  Nothing can ever change that.  The male/female crystals, are energy carriers and tools for meditation, that will never change.  The triangle still stands for Faith, Love and Charity and is a spiritual portal.  Pictures, requests and prayers can still be placed in them and will be seen and heard.  The triangle in my office is very powerful and no man can change the meaning of these tools as they are from the Creator.  In your heart lies these answers and they have nothing to do with John of God they have to do with the Creator of the Universe.  

Sometimes we get lost in a spiritual leader and begin to think the leader is so great.  But greatness is within each of us.  No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we can rise again and take our place on our path and begin again.   I didn't understand when I was molested that no one except my mother stood up for me.  Everyone else was pretending it didn't happen.  

I feel deep within my heart these woman were abused and I take my stand with the women that have been abused by John of God.  I know their pain. I know how it feels to be voiceless and afraid to speak about it.  These women deserve to be free.  They deserve to have a life worth living and rise to their own triumph and pathway for living.  We all do as humans.  Peoples lives are shattered right now.  Not only the women that were abused by John, but all of the people who experienced a spiritual journey in Brazil on those grounds.  They will be questioning themselves, questioning the process and grieving the loss of something that was so deep and beautiful.  While the news is all up in hype of the actions of John of God, and him turning himself in, there are thousands of people left in the a ball of confusion. There are thousands of lives that depended on John of God for their livelihood. (i.e. Hotel owners, vendors, taxi drivers, cooks, business owners).  There are thousands of people who are taking the "pasiflora herbs" prescribed by John of God now wondering what to do.  Thousands of people wondering, crying, questioning their own decisions, asking questions like should they get rid of their crystals, triangles, rosaries, jewelry. The answer is no.  These items have nothing to do with a man.  They have to do with a Divine Connection within you to your Source.  Nothing outside of you can change what they are, the energy they hold. Crystals come from the earth and are part of God's creation that bring sacred energy to us.   The power and light are within and not without  

God has spoken and claimed back his land of Abadiânia and all darkness will be seen in the light.  I shall stand for the abused women in Brazil, I shall stand for the purity of the land! I shall stand for the sacredness of the crystal bed! I shall stand for the the sacredness of the crystals, triangles, male/female stones!  I will stand for the blessing of our crystal beds.  They don't belong any man.  These things belong to God as instruments for healing.  I take a strong stand for the all the women that have been abused and let them know, their pain shall not be gone unnoticed.  What John of God has done cannot diminish the miracles seen in Abadiânia.  They are real.  It is just that the time has come when darkness shall no longer walk the road to the sacred waterfall.  The gardens are still pure.  John of God nor his actions can change reality of God's light.  When it became too much for the Sacred Heart of the Center of this Universe, a stop was made and brave, courageous  women came forward.  I pray for peace and healing for everyone. The news should be about the abused women, all of the souls whose lives will be changed forever.  

The bottom line is that God has spoken, and what was done in the dark has come to the light.  What do we see now?  I see the Creator has its hands in the middle of the confusion bringing healing light to each woman.  We have to do our own work inside to change.  God sends teachers and facilitators, mediums, but they are to guide and direct but never have any power to make things happen or change for us.  We have to stand on our own foundation, trusting in our own innate ability to become more.  The answers we seek are within our own being.  No man holds the key.  No man holds the answers.  We have to be willing to do our own work and that work is an inside job.  John of God never had any power.  John of God never healed one person.  The healing was done by a divine light.  Somewhere along the road confusion set in and darkness came  People began to believe in John of God the man and that he was special, he was "holy".  We have to create the space for growth within our own being as we begin the healing process.

Forgiveness is the key to beginning our pathway to healing the wounds.  We don't have to forgive the act, but the person must be forgiven.  One of my favorite, spiritual songs says "If I can help somebody as I travel along.  If I can help somebody with a word or a song...then my living shall not be in vain."  My living shall not be in vain.  I know I helped.  I know that no matter what, there is always hope for a better day.  Once I was lost, once I was suffering, once I never thought I could be more but all of that has changed.  God is a God of infinite possibilities.  I am a shining example of God's infinite possibilities.  So today I have been refined.  Today God has polished my life.  Today God has given me the gift of being in service to others.  As long as my days are on this planet, I shall be of service to humanity creating light, joy, peace as long as God allows me. So I leave with these words given to me by John of God "Kathleen you will see many people walking out of integrity, just make sure you are walking in yours".  I walk in the light of integrity and light, for this I am grateful.  I am praying for each and every abused victim, those who have come forward and those who did not.

~Kathleen

  #JohnofGodSexualAbuse; #MeToo